TL;DR: The Bulls stink and rather than trying to make the playoffs with an old roster, we should commit to acquiring, drafting, and developing young talent. I propose some interesting trade machine deals and blow up the entire roster because I’m bored.

AK owes us an apology. The Bulls stink, and as time goes on, more and more fans are realizing this team doesn’t have any upside, while also having a much lower floor than we all expected.

Anyways, yesterday I pitched a DeMar for O.G. Anunoby deal on twitter and was met with an onslaught of rage.

Ever??? This one made me laugh. I tend to try to keep it to memes and relatively educated opinions on Twitter, but I’m not going to lie, I am ADDICTED to the trade machine game.

Let’s evaluate some attempted semi-realistic trade machine deals to acquire some young talent.*

*I am not an NBA Executive. Individually, I don’t think these trades are horrible. As a whole, it’s borderline impossible to make all of these deals. Again, I am a bozo and all these deals probably get declined by both sides. But we can have fun, right? I will accept whatever bullying comes my way from this.

Trade #1

It has been rumored the Knicks want off the Fournier contract. The Knicks give up 3 young players all playing under 22 minutes per game. They offload Fournier’s contract and only lose 1 strong first round pick.

The Bulls get rid of their franchise guy Javonte Green. Luckily, they still have 4 Javonte’s remaining. They get younger and bring Derrick Rose home. I wanted to include Quickley but I’m not sure how realistic that deal is with him involved. Here is a potential deal with Quickley instead.

Also, have you seen Sims? He is an absolute freak athlete. Blow it up for him, he’s a rebounding machine.


Trade #2

Goodbye Demar. This one wasn’t as tough for me as it would be for most Bulls fans. My thoughts on Demar and his impact on this team have been well documented on Twitter. Either way, I think fans are opening up to the idea of moving him now that they see this team isn’t making any noise and likely won’t make any noise.

Dallas gets Luka a much needed second star while Chicago takes on a bad contract but brings in 2 firsts and a decent young piece in Josh Green.

Trade #3

I am very hesitant to post this one. In the event of a full rebuild, I would love to keep Caruso around. He’s such a great player and could be a great mentor. That being said, he’ll probably want out.

I’m guessing the Warriors will want to keep Kuminga, but AC is a legit all-defensive team guard. Not sure who says no to this one. Bulls might want a first instead of a second. Whoever made this trade sucks, imo.

Trade #4

Jarred Vanderbilt is rumored to be available for “the equivalent of a first round pick”. Would love to bring in Vanderbilt, but I think every team would love a player like him and the Portland 1st is heavily protected and probably not enough.

Trade #5

I don’t even like this one really, but what do you do with Vooch? I’m guessing AK is going to whip out the check book this offseason.

In total, Chicago would gain 5-6 first-round picks and 2 second-round picks while also adding a wide variety of young talent. Sounds like a decent jump start to a rebuild. Just don’t abandon the process too early this time around @AK.

Chaos complete. Truth being told, we all know this team isn’t blowing it up. Is it because AKME has become complacent on their current roster? Is it because they are too stubborn to admit they may have made a mistake? Or is it because Reinsdorf will refuse to give the green light on blowing it up because it will hurt ticket sales?

Whatever the reason, let’s start digging ourselves out of this mess before it’s too late.